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when life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life a thousand reasons to smile. ^^
Let me hear you call my name.Kayzel Kok Hui Xian | Create Your Badge
More than words.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013Feeling upset. Really Sad.
I made a mistake yesterday. I vented out all my anger at my boyfriend. He was hurt. And I realized that I have hurt him too. Although he said throw away all the unhappiness today, and yet I still can sense he is upset.
I hated myself for venting out all my anger at him.
I'm sorry my love.
It hurts me too..
I don't know will you happened to pass my blog and see, but I do want to tell you that I'm sorry deep down in my heart. I'm hurt when I hurt you badly..
Friday, June 28, 2013Time do flies really very fast. One wink, I've already completed my degree. Which is something that I am proud of. This is the 2nd goal which I have attained in my life =] At times, I miss my university life.. I miss attending lectures and tutorials.. I miss group discussion.. I miss exams, mid-term test and presentation.. I miss the presence of my classmates..
Another phrase of life is coming up.. Soon, I need to enter into work force. Work force is something that can be really scary. Ugly side of human characters. Now I truly understand "school life is the best". I need to be focus, I need to horn up my interviewing skills. I need to act like an office lady. At times, I wonder will I be able to survive in this cruel corporate world? I do really hope to work something related to children. I want to get my Master of Education (Specializing in Early Childhood).
As for now, I will slowly find a job which is suitable for me. Daddy and Mommy keep on asking me to find a suitable job. Don't rush yourself and end up you will find a job that doesn't suits you.. I do admit that I'm rushing.. Rushing to earn my 1st bucket of gold.. Aftermaths, I believe God has greater plans for me :)
Lately, I see quite a number of my friends in and out of relationship. Which is something that I'm fear of. These days are like crazy, I miss him. No words can describe how bad my misses are towards him. And I rather keep it to myself than telling him. I don't want to see his sad face.. I want to work hard for my future. And I see future in us :) God, hold us on and walk this journey with us till we grow old.
It's 2am now. Time for bed.
Ups and Downs
Thursday, May 16, 2013Decided to blog at this hour. Yes it's 1 AM now. I should be in bed and yet I'm feeling down again.
Lately, my emotional are just like a roller coaster. Ups and downs, ups and downs. Been tearing silently at night under my blanket. Nobody knows that I'm tearing at all.. I have been hiding my emotional towards my family these days. I tried not to show out and yet I failed..
There are so many PERHAPS in my life right now. Feeling despaired and yet I do not know what to do. I only can cried out to Daddy God. Telling him that my life is in a fix now..
Lord, I thank you for my 25 years of Education has come to an end. Thank you for giving me confidence and now I'm going to graduate this coming November.
After my education, family members has come to a concern about my job. This is endless, from education to exams, to boyfriend and now to find a stable job. My folks at home are telling me to find a job which suits me, asked me not to rush when comes to finding job. At times, I do feel useless that why is my mobile phone so quiet? Why isn't any calls from those companies that I have applied..? Perhaps, I'm not good enough..
Wanted to spend some time in the library for interviewing skills, but too many things are occupying my brain now. Sometimes, I wonder why am I such a supergirl? Why do I have so many responsibilities? Can I be a free bird one day? Free from cage, never the answer is a NO.. I can never be a free bird.
Tutoring: I have been giving tuition since when I was 21 years old. Found this passion with the thanks of my best friends. They encouraged me, without them.. I wont be understanding how a kid feel when he/she are facing school and family stress. But at times, I felt that I'm a lousy tutor! Perhaps, I'm a lousy tutor.. Who can bring laughter to my students who often have family problems.
Relationship: Blessed to have him in my life. He is the one that I'm searching for these years. And God leads me to him. Many heard, that "LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP" they will intends to give you negative comments. And sometimes they will be sarcastic to say you are such a strong girl! I'm not a strong girl, I also need my boyfriend to be with me all the times. I envy girls who have their boyfriends at all times. But come to think of it, this will strengthen our relationship which is given my Daddy God. Day and night, uncountable misses.. Who can really stand in my shoes and think how am I feeling..? I can be strong outside, but deep down in my heart, I'm not strong. I'm trying to be strong. The only thing that I can do is to let out my emotion by crying.. But never mind, Daddy often tell me "Good things are worth the wait". He is worth my wait.. =] I believe that Daddy God is always with me all the times..
Boyfriend: Dont be sad while reading my posts. Please do not worried for me.. Salty will be fine..
Really feels good to pen down everything. Feeling very down while I'm typing all these out...
May I find myself back soon..
Saturday, October 20, 2012Been exactly 1 month since you went back home.
Time flies~ Really flies very slowly..
Those 30 days was very hard for us.
Looking forward to 15 November!
He is coming to Singapore for his Graduation Ceremony.
That is the day that I'm looking forward.
Silently, patiently, counting down to 15 November! :DDDD
Friday, October 12, 2012
Be Thankful... Even For The Pain
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made an effort.
It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.
Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,and they can become your blessings.
Sunday, September 23, 201223 Sept 2012, Sunday
Normal Sunday for me. As usual, went for Service in the morning and then went to Bestie's Nephew 1st Month Baby Shower((:
It has been 3rd day since you left Singapore. Wonder how have you been? Have you been eating and sleeping well over at your house?
I have this silly baby. He told me that he wont say that he miss me so that I wont be sad. If I say I wont miss you so that you wont be sad, isn't the same thing?
Silly Baby, I know you are reading. But I want to tell you I miss you. I know it shouldn't be those Drama mama that kind. But somehow, I do really miss you. Those uncountable misses..
I will constantly prays for you. Tml is your first day at work, hope things will goes well for you at your side. I believe God will guide you whenever you are. Asking Daddy God to give us wisdom and guidance in our relationship and lastly nurture us(:
Wednesday, September 19, 2012Night is falling.
Night time is the most peaceful time that I could ever asked for.
Night time make me reflect on what I have done everyday.
Looking at the red sky, seems so peaceful.
Jesus is looking up there. Loving me, protecting me, teaching me, guiding me, and many more.
God, I feel your presence.
Come to me.
Hug me. I want to embrace you into your arms.
It has been one month since we started.
I'm happy that I have entered a relationship with him.
Lord, I thank you for letting me to know him in my life. We believe with your guidance we will make a difference although there is going to be many challenge ahead of us.
Days with him was great.
Days and time passed so slow. I'm thankful for that.(:
Soon, he is leaving.
I know I cant be selfish. 2 weeks to spend with him is much contended enough. He needs to return back home. He has his own responsibility to fulfill.
Prayed that the both of us will be able to hang on for this relationship although this is going to be a tough one.
Lord, I prayed for his safety back home and wherever he is guide him along be it in Church, Relationship, and even Work.
He is returning home soon.
Telling myself that Salty, you shouldn't cry in front of him when you send him off.
Departing seems so heart breaking.
This is the fact that the both of us need to face it.
Lord, please make me a strong girl.
Another 57 days. Neither it doesn't seems long nor short.
Perhaps, to the both of us it may seems long..
But those misses are going to accumulate for 57 days. I only can pray for him everyday to be happy, to be healthy, to be strong in terms of many things.
I cleared all my modules! 1 last to go before I'm officially graduate!
Pity that I couldn't graduate with him this year.. )=
God, please guide us, teach us and honor our relationship, respect each other with love, treasure each other presence.
Goodbye BFF.Hui Xiang
Goodbye Diploma Friends.Bin Hong
Goodbye ITE Friends.Adam
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